A new year

Another year has come and gone. I realize I haven't written anything for a while so first let me catch y'all up on some of the "old" news. The first half of 2012 was kind of crappy as I was finishing my radiation treatments, then dealing with all the after-effects of those treatments, and then having the surgery where my tissue expanders were finally replaced with "real" breast implants. Fortunately, things got a lot better the second half of 2012 because I finally went back to work, landing a temp position with an educational software company. And then it got even better: In late October my temporary status changed to permanent! The job is going well so far, though I do wish there was a little more variety. My boss anticipates there will be more interesting tasks for me to take on as the company continues to grow, so I'm optimistic about that.

At first I didn't tell anyone at work about having breast cancer, but I finally shared it with my boss and a co-worker when a particular work situation arose. You see, I share an office with this co-worker, and she insisted on keeping our door shut—all the time. It seemed like nothing could change her mind about this. It was driving me bonkers; it would get so hot and stuffy in there, and with my frequent hot flashes I felt like I was going to pass out. Plus it was kind of depressing having the door closed all day, not seeing anyone else in the office. So I finally told my boss about having been recently treated for cancer and the subsequent hot flashes (yes, I pulled the cancer card). She was great about it, intervening on my behalf. Now our office door stays open unless it's freezing in the building, in which case we will close it long enough to warm up the room.

I'm really hoping that 2013 will be a great year for Mr. Pincushion and me. God knows we deserve it. I really, really hope Mr. Pincushion finds that full-time college teaching position. I would also love to start painting again, as I haven't painted a thing since this past summer and I miss it. A trip to some far-off place is also on the agenda. Perhaps the U.K.? The new year is full of exciting possibilities and I for one am looking forward to seeing what will happen! Happy New Year everyone!

A working woman again

I am working full-time again, the first time since 2010. Granted this is another contract position, meaning I don't know when it will end but it most likely will in the not too distant future. In any case, boy has it been hard to join the rat race again, waking up at 5:30am to get ready, working all day and dealing with Austin traffic! By the time I get home from my 45 minute commute, I have about 3 hours left to get stuff done before my weary body gives out completely and I head to bed. The problem is that I'm so pooped at night that I don't want to do anything but veg out in front of the television. Now I hate to complain because it's great to get a paycheck and I've been job searching for a long time, but after all that I've been through physically over the years, my body/mind just doesn't bounce back like it used to. Unlike my sister who works an insane amount of hours and has been known to stay up until midnight paying her bills, I need at least a solid eight hours of sleep to feel okay the next morning. I honestly don't know how all you women out there work full-time and raise children. What I'm finding is that since working, my social life, my hobbies, and my never-ending quest for a PERMANENT job, has all gone down the tubes. I'm sure that my working friends and family can completely relate many times over. I don't remember when the last time I painted something. And I sorely miss going to my monthly Pink Ribbon Cowgirl luncheons. In fact, I shouldn't even be wasting my time right now writing this blog post and instead I should be reading my emails and checking the job boards. Ugh.....

Raising money

This past Saturday the Pink Cowgirls held a massive garage & bake sale to raise money for the family of one of our own, a woman who recently lost her fight with breast cancer. By 6am a group of us were assembled to unload, organize and put out for display the bazillions of items that people had generously donated. Most of us helping out at the sale were wearing our Pink Ribbon Cowgirl t-shirts. The doors opened officially at 8am as we were still trying to put stuff out, and it seemed like every few minutes people were arriving to drop off even more items. Meanwhile we were swamped with customers! It got pretty crazy for awhile. One of the Cowgirls made homemade ice cream to sell, while others brought brownies, cookies and cakes. We even sold homemade dog biscuits!

The day was long and tiring but also a ton of fun, made even better by knowing it was for a great cause. And I loved the sense of community that was felt by all, but especially among the Pink Cowgirls. We're still calculating the total amount we raised but I know that there was almost $4000 in checks and cash, not counting the credit card sales.

Funny stories about my new "girls."

So far my new "girls" have provided me with some funny moments that I'd like to share. About a week ago, I was having lunch with some of my Pink Ribbon Cowgirls. I was sitting next to a friend when I stood up to talk to an other gal next to her. All of the sudden, my friend cleared her throat and said to me quietly, "Um Romy, your boob is resting on my shoulder." Well, I had no idea that it was, because I have no sensation what-so-ever (and probably never will) in my new breasts! Fortunately, we both started cracking up as she completely understood, as only a fellow breast cancer survivor could.
Then a few minutes later I was leaning over my cappuccino talking to an other friend, when that friend pointed down and said, "Romy, watch out. You're about to dunk your boob in your coffee." Laughs all around again. Boy, I'm going to really have to watch my "girls." They seem to get in the way all the time and since I can't feel them, it would be very easy to have a serious mishap!

On a different note, the "girls" are healing nicely. The horrible pain I was feeling underneath my left breast every time I bent down is gone thankfully. I thought the pain might be due to an infection but the surgeon checked it and said that everything looked good so far. He also removed the rest of the stitches. Overall, I must say that I am pleased with the way they look although sometimes the right breast looks like it's deflating in one small area. I'm not sure what that is all about but I hope that it doesn't get worse.

In the event of an accident

When I came home from the hospital, along with my discharge instructions, were two ID cards with some of my information imprinted on them. The cards also have the name of the company that makes my new boobies. I asked Mr. Pincushion what the cards were for. Do you know what he said? He said they were my new ID cards for the implants and something about how I have to go online to register them! Isn't that crazy? I've heard of registering appliances like the stove or refrigerator for the warranty but my boobs? I thought maybe the cards were for me to keep in my purse so that in the event of an accident or if I lost one or both of my new boobs, the doctors/police would know what type and size they were! But no, my plastic surgeon said I don't need to carry the cards on me. Apparently, they give them to patients in the event of a catastrophic event where the hospital or doctors' medical records are destroyed and you need to know what size/type you have. However, I think I will keep a card in my purse in case the former does happen.

Polly has a new trick!

So far, all is well with my new boobs. Yesterday I took the bra off for the first time since the surgery. I have to say that they look pretty darn good! Today the surgeon will remove the drain on my left side. I wasn't supposed to have a drain but he had to do more extensive work on the left breast due to the radiation so it became necessary to put a drain in.

Not only are my new boobies pretty but the one on the left side can do a trick. My left boob farts! I know this sounds crazy but it's true. Every once in awhile, if I move a certain way, my left boob makes a sound that can best be described at a "wet fart." It's happened about 4 or 5 times now and at first I thought this surely can't be a good thing. Maybe the implant is leaking? However, I spoke to the nurse this morning about it and she said that the sound is actually caused by a trapped air bubble. She said that the body will eventually absorb the air bubble/pocket but for now I will have a "farting breast." I bet that most people can't say that their boob farts!

Polly gets new boobies!

Yesterday was hopefully the last surgery I'll ever have. I went to the hospital at 6:30am and was in the operating room by 8am. When I woke up approximately two hours later, I had a new set of boobies! Yippee, no more metal tissue expanders. I really think that if I had waited any longer, the metal points from the expanders would have poked through because the skin on the radiated breast was getting so thin. The surgeon said the surgery went well. When I woke up from anesthesia, they had put a bra on me so I haven't seen the new breasts completely yet. But from what I can see, they look pretty good.

I have to wear a bra 24/7 for the next two weeks except when I shower. This is to help keep the implants in place. We don't want them going all cock-eyed! I'm in a fair amount of pain, but I have pain killers which I take faithfully every 4-5 hours along with Advil. I have to take it easy for the next week or so which means no heavy housework/gardening or lifting. Lastly, when I sleep I have to sleep on my back only and elevate my upper body. Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well last night and probably won't until I'm able to sleep in a normal position. Thank god for sleeping pills!

Polly goes under the knife again!

This coming Friday I'll be going back to the operating room where I had my double mastectomy. Only this time when I wake up, I will have a new set of boobs! Yes, it is finally time to get these hard, uncomfortable tissue expanders out and replace them with a set of softer, perky but pliable saline implants. It just so happens that this Friday is also Mr. Pincushion's birthday. So his birthday present will be my new "ta-ta's!" Sorry, honey, they won't be double D's. In fact, I'm not sure what size they'll be. It depends upon how much room the surgeon has to work with when he opens me up. Kind of unnerving! I just hope they're nice looking.

I'm a little anxious about this procedure. Complications are fairly common with women who have radiated skin. And some of these complications can develop as much as six months later. I've heard first hand accounts of skin and incisions that didn't heal properly, and infections causing the implants to fail. Ugh.

I know I shouldn't worry about things that might happen; everyone's experience is different! All I can do is hope and pray for the best. If you're so inclined please send a prayer my way on August 3rd!

A wonderful week in lovely Maine

I recently returned from 10 days in Maine which is the perfect place to get away from the relentless heat in Austin. I had a wonderful time eating way too much, sailing, and spending time with my family in a spectacular setting that I've been going to since I was a little girl. This summer's visit was particulary special because my little cousin got married. It was the most beautiful and fun wedding that I've ever been to, besides my own of course. The wedding was like something out of "Country Living" magazine, with a divine setting (rustic red barn on a lush field with ocean views), perfect weather, great steel drum band, lots of dancing and professional grade fireworks! My cousin, all grown up, looked absolutely gorgeous in her mermaid shaped lace wedding dress and daisies in her hair. What a fabulous affair! To my Uncle and Aunt - Bravo. One down, two more to go!

Dusk at the wedding.

The barn where the wedding party made their entrance from.

Mr. Pincushion playing guitar for the ceremony.

A love letter

Tomorrow, Wednesday, June 20th, is my 14th wedding anniversary. Yes, Mr. Pincushion and I have been married a whopping 14 years already (and boyfriend and girlfriend for 7 years prior to marriage)! We've spent almost our entire "adult" life together...amazing really, especially in this day and age. In honor of our anniversary, I am writing this post as a love letter to my hubby. I will try not to make all of you gag, but if you do, I'm sorry. This is a love letter after all.

To Mr. Pincushion, my wonderful husband:

Fourteen years ago, our families and friends gathered together to finally witness our nuptials. I remember that it was a very windy day and my veil was whipping around my head/face and my sister was trying to hold it down. Nanny and Poppy were there to watch their first grandson get married and your father, a wonderful man, was there too. Your parents gave you something to calm your nerves and make you feel better because you were VERY hung over from your bachelor party the night before. Before I knew it, the ceremony was over and the justice of peace announced us "Mr. & Mrs. ____" and that was the beginning of what has been a great marriage so far. We have traveled to many special places together. We have lived on the East coast, the Midwest and now Texas. We have had many laughs along the way but also many sorrows starting with the sudden and devastating loss of your father. Then came the morning I woke up completely paralyzed on the right side of my body. One of the first thoughts that came to my mind on that terrible morning was that I had to remain calm, not for me but for you. I didn't want to get you freaked out, even though inside I was terrified. You were fabulous during my time in the hospital, keeping me company and being supportive during those grueling medical treatments, even though you are squeamish. Then when I had to stay at the in-patient rehab hospital for weeks and weeks, you continued to be my rock, visiting me whenever you could, being my advocate, and helping me with things that no husband should have to ever do. You even snuck our wonderful poochie into the hospital so I could see her because I missed her so. When I came home, you drove me around for six or seven months because I still couldn't, even when you didn't want to. Then when I was finally officially diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, you did not waiver in your love & commitment to me. I know there are many men, who if given the same terrible news about their spouse, would have left out of fear of the unknown and the responsibility of possibly being the caregiver. But not you! Years later when we thought that we had been through the worst, then came my very sudden diagnosis of breast cancer. This time I could not remain calm for you but as I cried hysterically in your arms, you remained brave, hugged me and simply said "we will get through this too." Once again, you took care of me whether I was hugging the toilet or having an emotional breakdown. And in the face of it all, you had the strength and determination to finish writing that dam dissertation, finally becoming "Dr." Pincushion. I am so very, very proud of you! After nearly twenty years of being together, I still love being with you. You continue to make me laugh with your great sense of humor. You are just so darn easy to get a long with (for the most part). And even though you have a lot less hair than you did when I first met you so long ago, I still think you're hot! You had me from the minute we sat across the table winking at each other during a game of "Cops & Robbers." I can't wait to see where we end up living next and what adventures we go through over the next chapter of our lives. As long as we have each other, life will be good!

I love you!
Mrs. Pincushion

Retail therapy

Lately, I've been doing a fair amount of shopping and have actually been enjoying myself! Usually, I don't like to go clothes shopping because I rarely find things that I really like and that fit me well. More often than not, I quickly become bored and frustrated if I have to try on more than five items which then usually leads me to give up and leave empty handed. However, I had an extra incentive to do some retail therapy...my cousin's upcoming nuptials in Maine. I wanted to find a couple of cute inexpensive outfits for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. Fortunately, I was successful and am looking forward to showing them off. Plus, I finally bought a new watch as mine fell apart almost a year ago. The most exciting part about my latest shopping experience was that most of my purchases were seriously discounted!

Off the smoothie wagon

After my cancer diagnosis, I was all gangbusters about green smoothies. When I first started making them, I had convinced myself that I was going to have at least one if not two a day. Unfortunately, like many of my well-intentioned plans, I went from having one a day to one every other day to finally having one a week if I'm lucky. It's not that they're bad tasting. In fact, they're quite yummy tasting. It's just that they're kind of a pain in the butt to make and frankly, I'm just too lazy to do it on a regular basis. Lately, more often than not, the bag of organic spinach just sits wasting away in my refrigerator until it resembles something out of a science project.

Dani

I recently lost a dear friend to lung cancer. I had known Dani for at least 30 years. She was my hairdresser when I was growing up in CA; in fact, she was still regularly cutting my father's hair until a few months ago. Dani will always hold a special place in my heart. When I was in the throes of my rebellious high school phase, I told her I wanted to dye my long hair magenta. Dani was immediately on-board. She grinned devilishly and said "Let's do it!" I will always remember walking through the front door of my house and greeting my father with my shocking magenta hair. Thankfully, he was very cool about it. After the pink hair came the bleached blonde, Annie Lenox haircut. Once again, Dani did her magic and I was transformed.

After many years without contact, we reconnected via email. I was going through my cancer treatments and Dani had just recently started hers. Her cancer was already at stage 4 and spreading, yet she would write me the sweetest emails full of compliments and encouragement. Fortunately, I got to visit her about three months before she died. I know she was scared but she always managed to sound positive, putting up a brave front despite being in terrible pain. When she emailed me to say her final goodbye, she wrote about how blessed her life had been and how happy she was that I was doing well. Her words reduced me to a wailing, blubbery mess... just ask Mr. Pincushion. I will always treasure that last email. Dani was a wonderful woman with a heart of gold until the very end.

To tell or not to tell?

When recruiters or hiring managers ask me what I've been doing since I last worked in 2010, should I tell the truth and explain that I was in treatment for cancer? This is a question that has been weighing heavily on my mind since restarting my job search. Part of me says hell yeah because while it was a horrific time for me, I'm proud of the way I handled it and proud that I beat it. So why shouldn't I tell potential employers. It shows that I have character, that I am strong and I can handle anything! But the other part of me says no, don't say a word about it. I am a human resources professional and unfortunately, I know how other HR professionals and business people think. It's all about the bottom line and how much money I could cost them. These people might be impressed with my bravery and resiliency but let's face it. I could potentially be an expensive employee because cancer isn't cheap. Immediately what will go through their minds is: What if the cancer comes back? Will she be able to work and if not, for how long will she be gone? How will this effect the company's insurance premiums? So after talking to several people about my dilemma, including a professional at a local cancer organization, I have decided that the smart thing to do is to keep silent. So when people ask me what I've been doing for the last two years, I will simply say I was a "homemaker" and leave it at that.

Getting back in the game

Now that I'm feeling good and have been given a clean bill of health (yay!), I have officially launched my job search (AGAIN). I seem to go through this process every couple of years. My last search actually led to a great job offer, which I accepted, but then I discovered the lump and had to withdraw from the position two days before I was scheduled to start orientation. Let's hope that scenario doesn't happen again! You'd think I would be an expert job seeker by now, but I'm not. I find the whole process to demoralizing and frustrating. You spend all this time re-working and tweaking your resume, writing cover letters and filling out application forms, only to learn that the job was already filled, or the search canceled. And that's if you actually speak with a real live person who is kind enough to tell you this. Then there's the whole networking piece, which for me is the hardest part. I am not a person who easily toots her own horn. I do not enjoy attending networking events and schmoozing with strangers, peddling my skills and trying to charm everyone with my FABULOUS personality. I'd gladly do just about anything else, such as going to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Unfortunately, networking is the primary way most people land their jobs (60% according to one report I read). So, with my resume redone and my new business cards printed, I have no more excuses. Let the networking fun begin! Wish me luck, folks.

Tumor markers are a crap shoot

I had my first six month post-treatment checkup with my oncologist this past week. He's such a nice guy! Anyway, he tested my blood for "tumor markers," which is one way to detect if there are any active cancer cells in my body. The good news is that the test showed no cancer activity but these tests are often times inconclusive. It's possible to have active cancer and still have normal blood tests. I'm all too aware of this, because my tumor marker test was in the normal range at the time I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Isn't that comforting? So while I'm happy the blood tests were normal, I don't take a lot of stock in the results.

Polly's cooking adventure

Last night I decided to cook dinner for my husband and his mother, who is in town visiting. Anyone who knows me well is probably a little surprised to read this, as I rarely cook. In fact, despite being with her son for the past eighteen years I have never once cooked a meal for my mother-in-law. So I decided to make turkey chili. I've made it once before and both the hubby and I enjoyed it, so I figured it was a safe bet. After an hour and a half of chopping, measuring and simmering, the chili was finally finished. While I was serving it up though, I noticed that the consistency was different this time. There seemed to be a lot more liquid left. Should I have let it cook longer?

We all took our first few bites with no one really saying anything. Finally I said, "It tastes a lot different than the first time." Mr. Pincushion agreed as he kind of pushed the chili around with his spoon. Looking at the recipe I quickly realized what happened. Instead of one and a half tablespoons of apple cider vinegar I mixed in one and a half cups! No wonder our nose hairs were going crazy. Tears ran down our cheeks as we laughed and cracked jokes over my disastrous mistake. In the end though, my mother-in-law actually ate most of her portion. She was a good sport, but I have a feeling I"ll be reminded of my chili fiasco every time we're together.

The good news is that according to the internet vinegar can cure all kinds of ailments, such as high cholesterol, arthritis, gout, and acne, and help you lose weight.

My "cancer-versary"

This past week marked the one year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. On one hand, it seems like much more than a year has passed. On the other hand, I remember like it was just yesterday the radiologist telling me the lump on my breast was probably cancer. So what did I do to celebrate my "cancer-versary"? It just so happens that my mother-in-law is visiting with us in Austin, and she treated Mr. Pincushion and I to dinner at a restaurant called Uchiko. The head chef there is Paul Qui, who was recently awarded the title of "Top Chef" on the Bravo television show (we're big fans of the show). While we didn't see the chef, the meal was scrumptious!

My latest doctor appointment

I had a checkup with my breast surgeon this past week. She didn't find anything abnormal, which is great, but she only performed a physical examination. If there was any cancer growing in my breast or somewhere else in my body, she wouldn't be able to detect it until it was big enough to feel. I know I probably shouldn't be thinking about stuff like that, but it's hard not to. She did say that she will order other tests if I have any suspicious symptoms. Apparently, there is no scientific evidence that scans increase survival rates. Additionally, once a year she will do diagnostic imaging of my breasts. In any case, I did learn some interesting information. Recurrences of triple-negative breast cancer usually happen within the first three years. I'm not sure if this is measured from the time of the initial diagnosis, or from the time treatment is completed. I'll have to google that. Or maybe not. Anyway, studies show that people who make it past the three year mark have dramatically lower rates of recurrence. The other thing I learned is that I need to massage my breast tissue expanders every day until they are swapped out for the real implants. Massaging will help prevent the tissue from hardening any further, and by "coaxing" them towards each other I may end up with a little cleavage. To tell the truth, cleavage is not a big deal for me. I never had much to begin with!

Chemo Curls!

I have heard all the stories, but this strange phenomenon I've been warned about is now starting to happen to me. Apparently, the new hair that grows back after chemotherapy can take on the opposite texture of the hair before chemo. So for the first time in my life, my hair is growing in curly. I always thought it would be nice to have curly hair, but now that I'm living with it, I've decided I much prefer it straight. It's really hard to style short, curly hair into a cute but edgy 'do. Rather than cool and hip, my curls make me feel matronly and frumpy. Ugh...

I've been told that chemo curls are usually a temporary thing, and my hair should go back to being straight in about a year or so. Maybe all the grey will go away, too!

Polly volunteers

Yesterday I finished my second stint of volunteering in the infusion room at the same oncology center where I did my chemo. I go every Thursday afternoon for one or two hours as a representative of the Breast Cancer Resources Center, to visit with people while they're getting their infusion. This experience is definitely outside of my comfort zone. I'm introverted; it's hard for me to just start a conversation with a stranger. Plus, these strangers are people going through hell, and they're feeling crappy, adding another layer to the awkwardness. I try to read the patients' body language before approaching them. Sometimes it's easy, like when they're asleep. I'm obviously not going to shake someone awake and say "Hey, how ya doin today?" I also try to avoid approaching people who are engrossed in a book, or busy conversing with a family member or friend.

Mr. Pincushion had a good idea for an ice-breaker for me...offer food! So today I went to the infusion room armed with a tray full of chocolate chip cookies. Most people were happy to take a cookie. When I offered one to an elderly lady, her eyes twinkled with excitement as she gave me a big smile. She practically purred "thank you so much." Of course, in the process of handing out cookies and feeling awkward, I didn't even think to tell the people I met that only a few months ago I was laying in one of these same chairs, and now I'm cancer free! Now that's a good conversation starter! Oh well, I'll have to try that next time. I'm sure this will get easier. 

Status update

Wow, I realized it's been practically a month since I wrote in my blog. So what's new with me? Life is getting back to normal again finally. I'm feeling good. My radiated skin looks totally normal, minus the surgery scars and three faint circles left from the stickers the radiation team placed on my breast. In fact, my radiation oncologist was very impressed with my skin as apparently most of his patients' skin don't look like mine until three of four months after completing treatment. He did, however, warn me that I will need to apply moisturizer to my radiated breast for the rest of my life (yay!). Otherwise it will get dry and flakey. I am still drinking my "green" smoothies and have gone on a diet to shed those winter pounds. I had a wake up call when I had to put shorts on last week (yes, it was 90 degrees one day here recently) and I could just barely button them.

FYI - I will continue to blog but probably not as often as I did before.

Part II - The Screen Actor Guild Awards show

This past Sunday was the big day: I went with my sister to the Screen Actors Guild award show!! Our day started with two young women coming to the hotel room to do our hair and makeup. Their youth and appearance (along with the fact that one of them got sick in our bathroom) should have been a clue that this probably wouldn't end well, but we ignored our instincts and let them do their thing. They were sweet, but clearly inexperienced. My sister hated what they did to her hair and ended up starting all over and styling it herself. Fortunately, there's not too much you can do to mess up very short hair so I was fine with how mine turned out.

We arrived at the Shrine auditorium and from there it was a whirlwind. Being on the red carpet was an exciting and very surreal experience. Unfortunately, I was on and off of it before the mass of celebrities arrived. I spent the rest of the night watching the show and gawking at the celebs. The commercial breaks provided great opportunities; I stood in line for the ladies room right behind Glenn Close, Meryl Streep and Mary Tyler Moore! And yes, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were there, and both are flawlessly beautiful (though maybe a bit too skinny). When they walked through the room, the crowd parted like the Red Sea. Everyone gazed at them longingly, even the other celebrities.

When the award ceremony ended we went right over to the "after party" held by People Magazine. This was where the stars mingle with each other and let down their hair. FYI - most of the actresses were absolute toothpicks. Owen Wilson practically ran into me, and several celebs let us take their pictures with them. What fun!! However, after a couple of hours my feet were killing, my head was throbbing and I was ready to call it a night. I realized that while at first it's exciting to be in such close proximity to the stars, in the end they are just people like you and me (but with beautiful bodies and faces, and a lot more money). I have never been happier to take my shoes off and crawl into bed!

Me on the Red Carpet

My sister (on the far right), Sophia Vergara from Modern Family and I.

Fish lips and big boobs

I can finally cross one thing off my bucket list...attending a celebrity filled event, the Screen Actors Guild Award show! But first, let me tell you all about the days leading up to the show. Last Wednesday, I met my sister in LA to see how the rich live. First off, we stayed at a fabulous, chic hotel in Beverly Hills (the hotel where sometimes the actress, Julianna Margulies, stays). It was really a very nice hotel with big beautiful rooms and an extremely helpful staff. However, my sister and I could not figure out how to work the various digital lights in our room. It was really quite comical. God forbid, you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (which we did) or if you were too drunk to figure out how to turn off the bedside lamps.

Beverly Hills is one strange place where EVERYONE is skinny and beautiful. I've never seen so many women with big boobs, tanned skin, botox faces and platypus lips. It really is all about how you look, the clothes you wear, the type of car you drive and how much money you have. Walking down the infamous Rodeo Drive, I went into a store and looked at a pair of shoes that cost a measly $3500! That was where I also saw my first celebrity, Phil Spector, looking very peculiar. My sister and I did some of the usual touristy things, like a tour of the celebrity homes or rather their very tall gates and hedges, and driving down Sunset Blvd and Melrose Ave in West Hollywood. At night, we had great dinners at some of the hottest restaurants in Beverly Hills. Watching the women and men strut their stuff was a hoot! But deciding what to wear and getting all glammed up was very stressful and not my thing. Thank god my sister (who's a fashionista) brought some extra clothing for me. Stay tuned for part II of my exciting weekend in LA.

My sister and I in front of Phil Spector's Rolls Royce.

Bottoms up!

Today I made my first "green" smoothie! Green smoothies contain fruit and vegetables. As someone who grew up thinking vegetables are yucky, these are a great way to get more veggies in my diet without having to really taste them. So following a basic recipe from one of my Pink Ribbon Cowgirls, I put some blueberries, half of a banana, a handful of spinach and a splash of coconut water in the blender and voila...a delicious, healthy drink. To be honest, I didn't believe the fruit would actually mask the taste of the spinach, but they really did. Now that I know how great these green smoothies are, I'll probably try making them with other vegetables, like kale and carrots. I'm feeling healthier already!

So now what?

As I mentioned in my last post, I haven't been sure of what to do with myself since completing my cancer treatments. So after some thought, I decided to volunteer with the Breast Cancer Resource Center, the organization that supported and educated me when I needed it the most during the last nine months. I will be "paying it forward" by visiting with other women during their chemotherapy, hopefully making their time in the infusion room a little easier. I'll also be available if a BCRC client needs some help with gardening, one of my favorite hobbies. And finally, I've joined the planning committee for the wonderful Pink Ribbon Cowgirls, the cancer support and social group that I have been a member of since I was first diagnosed. This great group of women has been a huge source of comfort and sound advice through every stage of my treatment. I'm really looking forward to doing this work, and the opportunity to be there for other women when they're feeling scared, anxious, and sick. I was there, and now I'm here, and I've learned a lot along the way!

A bittersweet moment

Yay!! I had my final radiation session this past Thursday. The radiation technicians threw confetti on me as I walked out of the room, and the other patients in the waiting area clapped and cheered as I rang the bell on the wall used to signal the final treatment. Afterwards, a friend and fellow radiation patient took me out to lunch, and later that night the hubby and I went to our favorite French restaurant to celebrate. While I'm very relieved the treatments are over, I feel a sense of sadness, too. For the last nine months my life has revolved 100% around fighting the cancer with chemotherapy, surgery and then radiation. And now, suddenly I'm finished. There's a feeling of, "What now?" What will I do with myself? I became engaged in the world of cancer, meeting and talking with fellow patients almost every day. Even though I was sick, I enjoyed getting to know so many interesting and wonderful people who were going through the same thing I was. I will sorely miss that part. Of course, I will continue to attend the Pink Ribbon Cowgirl luncheons every month, but I'll miss the daily interactions with my friends at TX Oncology. 

Polly rings in the New Year

Mr. Pincushion and I rang in the new year by doing our usual...staying home! He cooked a delicious meal of carnitas accompanied by tequila sunrises as we counted down to midnight. And yes, I actually stayed awake. 2011 was obviously one of the worst years for me, although probably not as bad as 2003, when my first exacerbation of multiple sclerosis left me paralyzed and cognitively diminished for months. I'm really hoping and praying that 2012 will be a fabulous year, full of good health and joy! One lesson that I've learned from facing my mortality this year is that I need to get off my ass and make good use of my time on earth. I'd like to accomplish a few things in 2012, including a couple from my bucket list. For example, maybe this should be the year I finally write that book that I've been mulling about forever. One thing I know I'll be able cross off on my bucket list is to hobnob with celebrities, because little ol' me will be going to the Screen Actors Guild Awards with my sister this month in L.A.!!! Watch out George Clooney, here I come!

Me and my tequila sunrise.