Dani

I recently lost a dear friend to lung cancer. I had known Dani for at least 30 years. She was my hairdresser when I was growing up in CA; in fact, she was still regularly cutting my father's hair until a few months ago. Dani will always hold a special place in my heart. When I was in the throes of my rebellious high school phase, I told her I wanted to dye my long hair magenta. Dani was immediately on-board. She grinned devilishly and said "Let's do it!" I will always remember walking through the front door of my house and greeting my father with my shocking magenta hair. Thankfully, he was very cool about it. After the pink hair came the bleached blonde, Annie Lenox haircut. Once again, Dani did her magic and I was transformed.

After many years without contact, we reconnected via email. I was going through my cancer treatments and Dani had just recently started hers. Her cancer was already at stage 4 and spreading, yet she would write me the sweetest emails full of compliments and encouragement. Fortunately, I got to visit her about three months before she died. I know she was scared but she always managed to sound positive, putting up a brave front despite being in terrible pain. When she emailed me to say her final goodbye, she wrote about how blessed her life had been and how happy she was that I was doing well. Her words reduced me to a wailing, blubbery mess... just ask Mr. Pincushion. I will always treasure that last email. Dani was a wonderful woman with a heart of gold until the very end.

To tell or not to tell?

When recruiters or hiring managers ask me what I've been doing since I last worked in 2010, should I tell the truth and explain that I was in treatment for cancer? This is a question that has been weighing heavily on my mind since restarting my job search. Part of me says hell yeah because while it was a horrific time for me, I'm proud of the way I handled it and proud that I beat it. So why shouldn't I tell potential employers. It shows that I have character, that I am strong and I can handle anything! But the other part of me says no, don't say a word about it. I am a human resources professional and unfortunately, I know how other HR professionals and business people think. It's all about the bottom line and how much money I could cost them. These people might be impressed with my bravery and resiliency but let's face it. I could potentially be an expensive employee because cancer isn't cheap. Immediately what will go through their minds is: What if the cancer comes back? Will she be able to work and if not, for how long will she be gone? How will this effect the company's insurance premiums? So after talking to several people about my dilemma, including a professional at a local cancer organization, I have decided that the smart thing to do is to keep silent. So when people ask me what I've been doing for the last two years, I will simply say I was a "homemaker" and leave it at that.

Getting back in the game

Now that I'm feeling good and have been given a clean bill of health (yay!), I have officially launched my job search (AGAIN). I seem to go through this process every couple of years. My last search actually led to a great job offer, which I accepted, but then I discovered the lump and had to withdraw from the position two days before I was scheduled to start orientation. Let's hope that scenario doesn't happen again! You'd think I would be an expert job seeker by now, but I'm not. I find the whole process to demoralizing and frustrating. You spend all this time re-working and tweaking your resume, writing cover letters and filling out application forms, only to learn that the job was already filled, or the search canceled. And that's if you actually speak with a real live person who is kind enough to tell you this. Then there's the whole networking piece, which for me is the hardest part. I am not a person who easily toots her own horn. I do not enjoy attending networking events and schmoozing with strangers, peddling my skills and trying to charm everyone with my FABULOUS personality. I'd gladly do just about anything else, such as going to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Unfortunately, networking is the primary way most people land their jobs (60% according to one report I read). So, with my resume redone and my new business cards printed, I have no more excuses. Let the networking fun begin! Wish me luck, folks.