Sunday, August 18, 2013

The final step…what a long strange journey it’s been!


I realize it’s been a long time since my last blog post. And this will probably be the final one unless of course I hear those scary words again, “You’re cancer has come back.” Obviously, I hope that won’t be the case but unfortunately, with cancer and in particular my specific type of breast cancer, it could very well happen. In fact, almost a week ago another one of my sweet Pink Ribbon Cowgirls succumbed to her battle with breast cancer after fighting it for a year and a half. 

In any case, I am finally done with the breast reconstruction! My new boobs look as real and normal as they’re ever going to look. A few weeks ago I underwent the last step, which was to get nipple tattoos. I know that sounds crazy but that’s how one gets aureola and nipples again when they’ve been surgically removed. I chose to get the latest and greatest in the breast reconstruction world – the 3-D nipple tattoos! A very nice woman at my plastic surgeons office, who is a licensed cosmetology tattoo artist, tattooed a nipple and the surrounding areola using color shading on both breasts.

Did it hurt? Heck, yeah! I don’t have much feeling in my breasts so I didn’t think it would be painful. But I was wrong. As soon as she started, I could feel the needle pricking my skin, little pricks of pain. Fortunately, once we realized that my breasts had more sensation than we had originally thought, she spread Lidocaine around to numb the area and then it was fine.

Amazingly, they look very real! At least, from the front they do. But if you look at them from the side view, you quickly realize there is no actual nipple. For me, it’s much more pleasant to look down at my boobs and see something in the center other than just big surgery scars. I chose to go this route because I really didn’t want to be put under anesthesia and go through another surgery. Also, I didn’t want to have permanent “headlights” and then have to wear a bra all the time. I mean isn't going bra-less one of the perks of having implants? 

Going through cancer has changed me immensely. I’m sure that anyone who has gone through a life threatening illness or event feels the same way. For me now, there is a real sense of a timeline to my life. I want to live life to the fullest. What that means, I am not sure quite yet, but I know I am no longer fine sitting around waiting for things to happen. As the saying goes, “Seize the day!” and now this saying means more to me than it ever did. Maybe I’ll go join the circus. Heck, I am even thinking about starting to exercise on a regular basis. Now that is saying something!