Tubes and tubes

I'm back! I survived the operation and was released from the hospital yesterday evening. As long as I remember to take my painkillers every four hours, I feel okay. But if I don't, the pain can get pretty intense! There was one small hiccup after the operation, because nothing is ever routine for me when it comes to health care procedures. I had a catheter placed in me prior to the operation (standard procedure), which was removed afterward. However, for several hours after the surgery, I still wasn't able to pee on my own. The on-duty nurse checked with the surgeon, and he instructed her to put a catheter back in. Apparently, she didn't have a lot of experience doing this, and brought another nurse (male) along to help out. So there I was, spread eagle on the bed, with the male nurse giving the female nurse instructions while she made several unsuccessful attempts to place in the catheter. Finally, the male nurse took over and got it in. Within moments a substantial flow of GREEN urine began filling up the bag. Mr. Pincushion said it looked like mouthwash. Turns out the breast surgeon injects a blue dye to help identify which tissue to remove during the surgery. Yellow + blue = green.

But wait, there's more. After leaving the catheter in overnight, the nurses removed it yesterday morning in anticipation of my being discharged. All I needed to do was show them that I could go pee without it. Well, my bladder just wouldn't cooperate. Even though I was drinking a ton of liquids, and getting even more fluids through the IV, I just could not go. From 10am to 5:30pm I tried every trick in the book... running water from the tap, listening to recordings of rainfall, holding my hands in warm water, drinking coffee, even pouring water over my bladder. Nothing worked! I was getting more and more frustrated and uncomfortable. They were just about to put the catheter back in when FINALLY I was able to relieve myself and get discharged from the hospital.

I saw the urologist this morning to get checked out, and she noticed that although I was able to go, I wasn't emptying my bladder completely. She thinks this is due to the surgery and the various medications I'm on, and will clear up soon. Until it does, though, I'll be needing a catheter. The one the urologist gave me is a little different from the one at the hospital. There's no bag, only a tube with a cap on the end that I can remove and then drain the pee into the toilet. So now I can go standing up, like a MAN! I even have to put the seat up! Hopefully everything will begin working normally again and I can get rid of the catheter on Monday. Until then, between the catheter, the drains from the mastectomy, and a pain pump, I have tubes coming out all over my body.

Mr. Pincushion here. Polly had her surgery today, and the docs reported that everything went well. She's now resting semi-comfortably and in good spirits (yay for painkillers!). Her hospital room is quite nice, private and spacious, and so far the nurses and staff have been reasonably on top of things. There was one small incident involving a catheter and a male nurse that I'll leave for Polly to tell in a future post...

Happily, I've remained conscious and coherent throughout the whole day's events, even when the nurses emptied her blood-filled drains in front of me.

Keep sending the good vibes/prayers/mojo her way!

Love to all,
Mr. PC

Polly taking her doctor-ordered snickerdoodle supplement

Three days and counting!

My surgery is only three days away, but I think I'm almost ready (but is any woman ever really ready to have their breasts removed?). I've bought the ugly, industrial strength post-surgery bras that I'll have to wear 24 hours a day for two weeks. I also bought some new button down shirts and pj's, because I won't be able to put anything over my head. My other supplies are ready, too: painkillers (very important), stool softeners (painkillers cause constipation), camisoles with built-in pockets to hold the drains, special pillows for sleeping on my back, and so on.

I've decided not to keep my nipple on the healthy breast. I would rather start fresh—with a clean canvas, so to speak—on both sides. This way my nipples will match if I choose to have them reconstructed.

As far as the surgery goes, I have to arrive at the hospital at 6:00 Wednesday morning. The surgery will begin at 7:30 and hopefully be finished by noon. I expect to stay at the hospital that night and go home some time on Thursday. For those of you eager to hear how the surgery went, my editor-in-chief, Mr. Pincushion, will post an update here on my blog. Please remember that I will be tired and hopped up on painkillers when I get back home on Thursday, so don't be offended if I don't return phone calls right away.

Polly gets pampered!

What a wonderful day! It started out this morning while I was drinking my coffee and reading the newspaper. The doorbell rang and I received a surprise delivery - a beautiful bouquet of pink and white flowers from my grandmother. I love flowers, but I always feel guilty buying them for myself so I rarely do.

Then after lunch I received another special package - a box chock full of homemade cookies! These were sent by a family friend who is famous for her cookies, though she normally makes them for Christmas. I had made a special request for "comfort food" so that I could pig out when I'm homebound recovering from surgery. I wasn't sure she would have the time to do it. It must have taken her hours and hours to bake all of these but she came through. Lana - you are the BEST! Snickerdoodles, snowballs and fudge...I feel better already. In fact, maybe by the time I'm finished with them, I'll have enough of a tummy to make two new breasts (just in case the implants don't work out).

Finally, the piece-de-resistance of my day (as if these two lovely surprises weren't enough) was that I had a Swedish massage! My grandmother had given me a gift certificate good for two massages a while ago, and I decided that redeeming one of them before I have my surgery would be a great idea. And boy, was I right. There's nothing like going to a nice spa and having someone rub and knead your muscles with wonderful smelling oil for 45 minutes. Pure heaven. If you've never had a professional massage before, you absolutely must. Thank you so much Grandmary!

To spare or not to spare

Just when I thought I had it all worked out, my breast surgeon presented me with another decision I'll need to make before my mastectomy. This one's about the healthy boob (the mastectomy will be bilateral). We already know that she'll remove the whole breast—including the nipple—on my cancer boob. Apparently, though, I can opt to keep the nipple and aureola of the healthy boob if I want. They call this "sparing."

So my surgeon needs to know: do I want to keep the nipple? Or remove it like the other side? It sounds ridiculous, I know, but apparently there are options. The pros of keeping it are: 1) it's already there, so the plastic surgeon wouldn't have to form a new one, and 2) well, I guess there aren't any more pros. The cons of keeping it are: 1) while the plastic surgeon would attempt to construct a fake nipple that matches my natural one, they wouldn't match up exactly, and 2) I may decide I don't want nipples, period (there are actually some good reasons for this). I was told that women don't have sensation in their nipples (real or fake ones) after surgery anyway, so no matter what I decide they would really only be there for cosmetic reasons.

To spare or not to spare? Or you could put it another way - do I want my breasts to wink or not wink at people? I'm hoping to get some advice from my fellow Pink Ribbon Cowgirls at our luncheon tomorrow. And what does Mr. Pincushion have to say about it?

Stay tuned!

Octo-duck

Yesterday, the hubby and I went to my pre-op appointment with the plastic surgeon. Most of the time was spent with his nurse, who went over a list of things to do before the surgery as well as instructions for afterwards. Talk about feeling overwhelmed! You know that feeling you get when someone is giving you important information and you're trying to pay close attention? But then you start to feel overwhelmed and panicky, and pretty soon, you're not really listening—you're nodding "yes" while thinking "what the hell did she just say?" Well, that was me. Thank goodness Mr. Pincushion was there to listen while furiously taking notes.

Based on what the nurse told me and what I've read online about other peoples' bilateral mastectomy experiences (which was probably a mistake!), it sounds like I'll be home-bound for two or three weeks after surgery. In fact, I'll be lucky if I get out of my pj's during this time. Not only will I be in pain, but I may have a hard time sleeping because I can only lay on my back, with my head elevated. That's fine if you normally sleep like that but I don't. I like to curl up on my side. I met a woman today at a Pink Ribbons Cowgirls luncheon who's been through the same surgery. She suggested that I sleep on a recliner for at least the first week just so that I don't roll over onto my sides. Is it even possible to sleep eight hours in a recliner? Sounds pretty uncomfortable to me. I better make sure to refill my sleeping pills!

Then there are those pesky drains to deal with. I'll have two drains attached to each side of my body. They are there to drain the excess fluid from my boobless chest...gross! I'll have to empty them every 12 hours, measure the volume and then dispose of the fluid. As the nurse was explaining the drains, I looked over at Mr. Pincushion and I swear the blood had drained from his face and was replaced by a slightly white and green hue! Guess I won't be asking him to help me out with the drains. I'm not sure I'll be able do it either. Volunteers, anyone? Just kidding.

Another Pink Cowgirl told me that she looked like an octopus with those drains in. Great—so I guess I'll be an "octo-duck," with the body of an octopus and a head like a duckling's (because of my new downy hair). In any case, I'm getting nervous!

(Side note: We think we've resolved the email notifications issue we were having, but please let me know if you're still having problems. Thanks!!)

Only a test, the sequel

Mr. Pincusion is hard at work trying to fix the blog. And watching football.

Here's another test..

Only a test...

Working on a technical problem with the blog, please ignore this post!

Thanks,
The Management

Decision time

We saw my breast surgeon yesterday to finalize the plans for my surgery, and to schedule it. After much hemming and hawing over the various surgical options, I've finally made my decisions. Drum roll, please...

I have decided to have a bilateral mastectomy. My surgeon was understanding of my reasoning for removing both breasts versus just the affected one, which made me feel better about this choice. So what was my reasoning? Well, because of my age at diagnosis, I am at a higher risk for developing a new breast cancer in the healthy boob over the course of my lifetime. If I were to keep it, I would be constantly worrying. Not that there are any guarantees, even with the mastectomy. The surgeon will only remove the actual breast tissue of the healthy breast, leaving the lymph nodes. There's always a chance of developing a new cancer. Another reason for having a bilateral mastectomy is cosmetic; the plastic surgeon has a better chance of achieving symmetry by reconstructing both breasts.

This led to another big decision I needed to make—the type of reconstruction I would be having. The choice was between the DIEP flap transplant procedure or conventional implants. I decided that the implants are the way to go. For one thing, the post-surgery recovery time is shorter. Secondly, there were questions about whether I had enough stomach fat to form two breasts. Even if I did, my boobs would probably end up smaller that what I already have, which I don't want. They may have been able to transplant some additional tissue from my back, but that could lead to permanent weakness in my back, shoulders, and arms. No thanks!

More decisions: The first stage of implant reconstruction requires placing tissue expanders in the chest. Tissue expanders are basically balloons that the plastic surgeon inflates little by little, every 2 or 3 weeks. The purpose of the expanders is to create space for the implants, which will ultimately replace them. We've heard different opinions about when it's best to have the expanders put in. My plastic surgeon usually does it at the same time as the mastectomy. This means they would be in my chest during my upcoming radiation treatments. Some surgeons feel it's better to wait several months after radiation before putting the expanders in. Radiation can cause all kinds of skin problems, so the thought is that waiting on the expanders reduces the chances of complications (which can occur in as much as 40-50% of cases). On the other hand, the rationale for putting the expanders in prior to radiation is that they will help to keep the breast skin from contracting too much, a common effect of the radiation. It's all very confusing, and it's impossible to know which choices are the best ones for me because I can't know the future. All I can do is hope and pray my surgeons know what they're doing.

One thing I do know for sure is that I'm tired of obsessing over these major decisions! And that on September 28th, I will wake up from surgery BOOBLESS...yikes!!!

Cool breezes

Wow. I sat outside on my deck yesterday afternoon, and for the first time since April or May, it wasn't so sweltering that rivets of sweat poured off my body. In fact, it felt more like fall (Texas version—most non-Texans would still call this summer). There was a constant cool breeze in the air and I loved it!!

So you would think that finishing chemo would mean the end of all the side effects but no, not for me! I'm now experiencing peripheral neuropathy, which is apparently a fairly common side effect. Neuropathy is damage to the nerves, and can cause tingling and numbness in your hands and/or feet. These symptoms can last for up to 6 or even 12 months after chemo. Ugh! It can also progress to other parts of your body, and can sometimes cause more troublesome symptoms that include painful burning sensations, or a loss of coordination (to name just a couple). For me, the tingling and numbness started in both my feet, the day after my last chemo session, and has been constant ever since. It spread to my hands a few days ago. These sensations are not completely new to me; I have felt them in my right foot over the years due to my multiple sclerosis. In fact, if I hadn't just finished chemo, I would have assumed I was having an MS exacerbation. But I'm pretty sure I'm not, because neuropathy is a fairly common side effect of Taxol (the last chemo drug I was on). I just pray it doesn't spread, lead to other problems, or become permanent.

And now Lucy, our gentle and sweet 11 year old dog, has developed a scary looking sore or lump on her lower back, near her tail. We don't like the looks of it. She is really starting to show her age and it breaks our heart! I wish I could turn back the clock to the time when she could run around all day, fetching a ball or swimming or hiking through the woods. Okay, I need to stop before I start blubbering like an idiot. All you dog lovers can relate, I'm sure.

Lucy laying on our bed, one of her favorite spots.

Snuggling with Mr. Pincushion.

Lobsters and hurricanes

Our Maine vacation was great! We feasted on lobster, crab and ice cream, and gained about 5 pounds. The weather was beautiful for the most part—sunny and cool. Hurricane Irene did hit us, though by the time it reached the Maine coast it was just a tropical storm. Lots of rain and high winds (we lost power for a day), but no flooding or real damage. The evening of the storm was kind of surreal and creepy, with the howling wind outside and no electricity in the house. Glad I wasn't there alone! By the next morning, the sun was back out and it was a gorgeous day. I only wish we could have brought some rain and cool temperatures back with us to Austin.

On the cancer front, the results from a third genetic test, known as BART, came back negative. This was good news, but in a way, a positive result would have made it easier to come to a decision about having a single versus double mastectomy. I feel like I'm back to square one on that. I need to figure this out very, very soon because I'm seeing my breast surgeon this coming Tuesday to schedule the surgery!

Sailing in Eggemoggin Reach on the Maine coast.

 

Sunset at my Dad's cottage (and soon to be one of my paintings).