Mr. Pincushion here. Polly had her surgery today, and the docs reported that everything went well. She's now resting semi-comfortably and in good spirits (yay for painkillers!). Her hospital room is quite nice, private and spacious, and so far the nurses and staff have been reasonably on top of things. There was one small incident involving a catheter and a male nurse that I'll leave for Polly to tell in a future post...

Happily, I've remained conscious and coherent throughout the whole day's events, even when the nurses emptied her blood-filled drains in front of me.

Keep sending the good vibes/prayers/mojo her way!

Love to all,
Mr. PC

Polly taking her doctor-ordered snickerdoodle supplement

Three days and counting!

My surgery is only three days away, but I think I'm almost ready (but is any woman ever really ready to have their breasts removed?). I've bought the ugly, industrial strength post-surgery bras that I'll have to wear 24 hours a day for two weeks. I also bought some new button down shirts and pj's, because I won't be able to put anything over my head. My other supplies are ready, too: painkillers (very important), stool softeners (painkillers cause constipation), camisoles with built-in pockets to hold the drains, special pillows for sleeping on my back, and so on.

I've decided not to keep my nipple on the healthy breast. I would rather start fresh—with a clean canvas, so to speak—on both sides. This way my nipples will match if I choose to have them reconstructed.

As far as the surgery goes, I have to arrive at the hospital at 6:00 Wednesday morning. The surgery will begin at 7:30 and hopefully be finished by noon. I expect to stay at the hospital that night and go home some time on Thursday. For those of you eager to hear how the surgery went, my editor-in-chief, Mr. Pincushion, will post an update here on my blog. Please remember that I will be tired and hopped up on painkillers when I get back home on Thursday, so don't be offended if I don't return phone calls right away.

Polly gets pampered!

What a wonderful day! It started out this morning while I was drinking my coffee and reading the newspaper. The doorbell rang and I received a surprise delivery - a beautiful bouquet of pink and white flowers from my grandmother. I love flowers, but I always feel guilty buying them for myself so I rarely do.

Then after lunch I received another special package - a box chock full of homemade cookies! These were sent by a family friend who is famous for her cookies, though she normally makes them for Christmas. I had made a special request for "comfort food" so that I could pig out when I'm homebound recovering from surgery. I wasn't sure she would have the time to do it. It must have taken her hours and hours to bake all of these but she came through. Lana - you are the BEST! Snickerdoodles, snowballs and fudge...I feel better already. In fact, maybe by the time I'm finished with them, I'll have enough of a tummy to make two new breasts (just in case the implants don't work out).

Finally, the piece-de-resistance of my day (as if these two lovely surprises weren't enough) was that I had a Swedish massage! My grandmother had given me a gift certificate good for two massages a while ago, and I decided that redeeming one of them before I have my surgery would be a great idea. And boy, was I right. There's nothing like going to a nice spa and having someone rub and knead your muscles with wonderful smelling oil for 45 minutes. Pure heaven. If you've never had a professional massage before, you absolutely must. Thank you so much Grandmary!

To spare or not to spare

Just when I thought I had it all worked out, my breast surgeon presented me with another decision I'll need to make before my mastectomy. This one's about the healthy boob (the mastectomy will be bilateral). We already know that she'll remove the whole breast—including the nipple—on my cancer boob. Apparently, though, I can opt to keep the nipple and aureola of the healthy boob if I want. They call this "sparing."

So my surgeon needs to know: do I want to keep the nipple? Or remove it like the other side? It sounds ridiculous, I know, but apparently there are options. The pros of keeping it are: 1) it's already there, so the plastic surgeon wouldn't have to form a new one, and 2) well, I guess there aren't any more pros. The cons of keeping it are: 1) while the plastic surgeon would attempt to construct a fake nipple that matches my natural one, they wouldn't match up exactly, and 2) I may decide I don't want nipples, period (there are actually some good reasons for this). I was told that women don't have sensation in their nipples (real or fake ones) after surgery anyway, so no matter what I decide they would really only be there for cosmetic reasons.

To spare or not to spare? Or you could put it another way - do I want my breasts to wink or not wink at people? I'm hoping to get some advice from my fellow Pink Ribbon Cowgirls at our luncheon tomorrow. And what does Mr. Pincushion have to say about it?

Stay tuned!

Octo-duck

Yesterday, the hubby and I went to my pre-op appointment with the plastic surgeon. Most of the time was spent with his nurse, who went over a list of things to do before the surgery as well as instructions for afterwards. Talk about feeling overwhelmed! You know that feeling you get when someone is giving you important information and you're trying to pay close attention? But then you start to feel overwhelmed and panicky, and pretty soon, you're not really listening—you're nodding "yes" while thinking "what the hell did she just say?" Well, that was me. Thank goodness Mr. Pincushion was there to listen while furiously taking notes.

Based on what the nurse told me and what I've read online about other peoples' bilateral mastectomy experiences (which was probably a mistake!), it sounds like I'll be home-bound for two or three weeks after surgery. In fact, I'll be lucky if I get out of my pj's during this time. Not only will I be in pain, but I may have a hard time sleeping because I can only lay on my back, with my head elevated. That's fine if you normally sleep like that but I don't. I like to curl up on my side. I met a woman today at a Pink Ribbons Cowgirls luncheon who's been through the same surgery. She suggested that I sleep on a recliner for at least the first week just so that I don't roll over onto my sides. Is it even possible to sleep eight hours in a recliner? Sounds pretty uncomfortable to me. I better make sure to refill my sleeping pills!

Then there are those pesky drains to deal with. I'll have two drains attached to each side of my body. They are there to drain the excess fluid from my boobless chest...gross! I'll have to empty them every 12 hours, measure the volume and then dispose of the fluid. As the nurse was explaining the drains, I looked over at Mr. Pincushion and I swear the blood had drained from his face and was replaced by a slightly white and green hue! Guess I won't be asking him to help me out with the drains. I'm not sure I'll be able do it either. Volunteers, anyone? Just kidding.

Another Pink Cowgirl told me that she looked like an octopus with those drains in. Great—so I guess I'll be an "octo-duck," with the body of an octopus and a head like a duckling's (because of my new downy hair). In any case, I'm getting nervous!

(Side note: We think we've resolved the email notifications issue we were having, but please let me know if you're still having problems. Thanks!!)